I'm going to jail i love you
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
