i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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