i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
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Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.