Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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