your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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