This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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