last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
