Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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