I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize