I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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