Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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