There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I want to be your penis for a week.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize