He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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