i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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