I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
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