all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
