I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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