We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
