You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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