wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize