so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
