why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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