you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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