I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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