Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize