I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
