Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
