On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
