i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
