if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
