Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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