I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
