i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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