pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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