For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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