I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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