gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
