Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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