I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
