Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My balls are so social today.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
