I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
