no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
