he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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