sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
