She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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