You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
