I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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