Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
