Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
