Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
