I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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