It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
