Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
