I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
