That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
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We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
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Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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