I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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