Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
