Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Will exercising make me less horny?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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