Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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