I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
