i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The Olympian is in my bed
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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