Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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