he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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